H1N1 update

So... Group Health is completely out of the regular flu shot and the H1N1 mist. They don't know when for sure that they'll get either again. They were supposed to get the injection sometime this week, it's now been pushed out 1 to 2 weeks more. According to the Pharmacologist at MGH, we are supposed to just get what we can get. Scary huh? So, Zeke and I are getting the mist on wednesday and hoping that because we'll both be contagious with a weakened version of the live virus, that Emma will catch it too. Then, the hope is that all three of us will develop antibodies to it and will then be protected. This of course means I must monitor the three of us very closely for the next week. As for school and Church, still a definate NO for the next 2 to 3 weeks. Possibly thinking about longer than that even. We we as a family are afraid of is this turning into a widespread pandemic in which schools are then closed. As well, I must say I am a little irritated with MCCS. They sent out an e-mail stating that kids with even a cold need to stay home and yet, we are seeing kids come into school with obvious hacking coughs that are lung coughs, Why can I ask are parents not keeping these kids home????? We had a field trip last week and a little girl came into class with a terrible cold. She was snotty and hacking all over the place. All over both Zeke and Emma! Then, THEN, I overhear the dad say her fever just broke and they didn't want her to miss the fieldtrip... REALLY??????? So, because you can't just take her to the pumpkin patch yourself you feel the need to expose my family to this? Thanks a lot! On top of all that Fort Lewis isn't even vacinating their emergency personel. I guess the military ahs a huge shortage, like the rest of us. But instead of following logical protocol. They are leaving their first responders for last. You know, if there's any left over. So... now we have to try to find somewhere Chad can get the mist. Oh, and Gina and Megan. Gina is over 24, so she is SOL. Megan can maybe get the mist if her doc's office still has it. But they are in Raymond this weekend, so they are getting exposed even more than us. I just keep praying that our family will stay healthy and safe. I know we are supposed to trust God, you can't control your destiny, yada yada yada.... I will pay any amount of money to ensure the safety of my kids. If someone had a line on the mist or vaccine, I would pay top dollar and inject my kids myself if I had to. Break into the pharmacy, whatever is necessary. So, day 2 at home. I haven't been driven crazy by my kids yet, but I am definately in panic mode as for trying to figure out how to keep my family safe.

H1N1

Okay, so this whole swine flu has me really freaked out. Okay, not like panic attack freaked out. But close. We keep going back and forth trying to decide if it's safe or not. We've finally come to the conclusion that the risks associated with the shot DO NOT out weigh the risks associated with getting H1N1. We decided that since I am in the schools and Chad is in the medical field, it would be especially important for us and our kids to get the vaccine. We both feel fine with getting the nose version, but I am a little iffy on giving that to the kids, plus, they won't give it to kids under 2 years of age, so emma can't have it anyway. The actual shot won't be available to us from our health care provider until next week sometime. The date is unknown. It takes two weeks for the shot to create full immunity, so we've come to the conclusion that until the kids, (and us) get the shots, and for the two weeks after they get the shots, we will be quaruntining our whole family. Chad will go to work. I may go to the gym. There will be no school, no church, (nursery=kids), and no way our kids will leave the house for any reason. I will still go grocery shopping, and can probably still meet people for coffee... without their kids... and only if no one has had even the slightest sniffle two weeks prior to meeting for coffee. I know this sounds absurd and super paranoid... but it's my kids. and if something happened to them... I simply would cease to have any reason to go on. I now have purrell next to every sink in the house and a little one in my pocket. =)

hmmm....

Okay, so here goes my nod to Jamie's honestly and openness. So for the last few weeks. I have just felt terrible. I'm just a total negative black hole. I don't know whats wrong with me. Usually I am such a positive and up beat person. I really think I tend to look at the glass as half full. But lately, I just want to crawl into a hole and hide, for a very long time. I'm lonely. I miss my friends. It seems like schedules never line up any more. Some days I feel like I just don't matter. I'm of no importance or consequence to those who matter most to me. Am I really just here to clean up after people all day long? There was once this girl who was fun. She was even a bit of a clown. She loved to make people laugh and loved to poke fun at herself. She was spontaneous and adventurous. And definately mischevious. And then she "grew up". But why does that mean the fun has to stop. Why does being married with kids mean you lose all your individual thoughts, goals, dreams etc. I hope people don't think I'm crazy. I hope I'm not crazy. I'm stressed out.... and have no way to work it out. My fingernails have been bitten down to nothingness, I'm broken out all over, exhausted, tense, my eyelashes are even falling out. I'm stuck in a life that sometimes just doesn't feel like I belong, like I am an imposter. Everyone around me appears to have it all together. To have their ideals and to have those ideals backed by someone who matters. They have their interests, crafts, etc. Time, somehow to do it all. Or they have a career and a life with friends. They go out, somewhere other than the grocery store and school. They read books, all the way through. They learn new things. Once, I was very clean and organized. I could start a project and finish it. The mere idea of starting a new project is daunting and overwhelming. I just got a new desk. The one I really wanted. It's been in my garage for almost three weeks in the box. I want to paint my new office green. I can't. I just don't have the energy. I started listening to worship music just about 24/7. I've been diligent with my bible study homework. Been reading my bible on my own daily. I keep praying and trusting Him to help me through. But sooner rather than later would just be wonderful. I love my kids desperately, but some days. I just don't even feel like I can begin to enjoy them. And I am so afraid of looking back and feeling like I completely missed out. I want to be one of those families who does things with their kids. Takes their kids to see plays, goes to the park, the pumpkin patch, whatever. How am I supposed to do that when I can barely get dinner on the table? I'm scared to post this. Scared of how people will view me. Will they judge me? Will they talk about me behind my back? Should I post this? Do I sound like an ungrateful, spoiled suburban housewife? I know I have much to be thankful for. God has blessed up monumentally in our lives. I know all the right sunday school answers. I know how I am supposed to think/act/feel. It's just not happening.

Green Living : Earth-Friendly Goods

Super excited about this site! Green Living : Earth-Friendly Goods" Shared via AddThis

Whole Foods, Organic, Vegan... what's best?

So I've been doing a lot of research lately, fueled mostly by how scary a lot of the foods are that I feed my children. If I don't know what it means, why am I putting it in my body or especially my kids bodies? I've heard of so many different supposedly better for you diets, that it makes my head spin! I think I am leaning towards a mixture of whole foods and organic. With a strictly whole foods diet, we would buy nothing pre-packaged, not even pastas or crackers. Okay, I don't think I can go that far. I think I would be spending every waking second in the kitchen. Also, just because it's whole food, doesn't mean it's organic. Whole food eating is staying away from processed, added ingredients etc. but that doesn't mean your main ingredient hasn't been treated with something. Also, whole foods calls for non-homogonized milk. I am not sure yet about that either. I am pretty sure I don't want to have to stir the cream in every time I want to use the milk, but if I just had to shake the jug, maybe. But where do I even buy this stuff? Can I still get 2%, whole, fat free, etc? Maybe we will do a mix of Organic and whole foods. Like, where I still buy cereal and crackers and pasta, but I make my own bread and buy organic ingredients and organic produce. I don't think I could give up ground beef. We eat ground chicken, but it get's really expensive if you try to do organic fed, free range, etc. Plus, the only place I know of to buy that stuff is at Ralphs in oly. We eat a lot of chicken breast, so we get that at costco. I think I would feel better about it if I bought organic and only bought pre-packaged products that had ingredients I could read and understand. Also, I need to research some more about the different grains and stuff, we use flax in a lot of stuff, but what health benefits does spelt provide? I know I can bake with whole wheat baking flour. I like it too, I can even use it in cookies! Also, is it less fat or just healthier to eat soy icecream? Or should I make my own icecream? Is there a way to make it less fat and less sugar and still make it organic? I did find organic diet rootbeer. I am still questioning the ingredients used to make soda, but I love rootbeer milkshakes... so we'll see. I did give up regular/diet soda. Not coffee. but I can at least buy organic coffee and Uraco uses organic coffee...=) I am curious what others have to say on this. how does everyone else feed their families? Do you guys feel guilty for feeding your kids crap like I do? I mean, really, Mcdonalds and stuff are definate no no's now. I'd like to say never ever again, but I know that won't happen. Plus I don't want to put Grandparents on that kind of restriction. Something new I am excited about is that I can get organic sugar at costco! Also, they sell the big boxes of Amy's Organic ready to serve canned soup. My kids love the lentil soup! I feel good about that over like spaghetti o's or Campbells big and chunky soups. they have wierd preservatives. I think I also need to learn how to can, anyone wanna teach me? I have a boiling water canner. We are also going to get a bread maker. Any suggestions anyone?

Apparently Camping trips done by girls are doomed to fail...

So, I had this great idea. I thought, "Hey, I should take both my kids and Gina and her kid camping for 10 days. Let's make it a road trip!" Great idea right? WRONG!!!! So, we're packed, we're ready to go. We're going to pick Megan up in Missoula because she'll be with her dad for the first half of the trip. We leave the house, yay for a new car DVD player so the kids can be entertained. First stop Moses Lake and the water park. It's 10:00 am. Wait, the DVD player broke, and we are 5 minutes from the house. Greeaaat. Well, we have to stop at my dad's for firewood, so we'll mess around with it there. It's 10:05 am. At my dad's house, nope, the DVD player is broken. We get the firewood, call around, find a new DVD player. We'll pick it up in oly on the way out of town. It's 11:00am. We go to start the car to head out. ooops! the car battery is dead! AWESOME! It's 11:10am. Okay, so in oly: New DVD player, new battery, stop at the bank and we're on our way. Oly: We got the battery. that took a while, met someone at Auto Zone who it turns out with went to private school with me in middle school. Go CCA, Yay for the Friday song. Thank you for Zach for putting in my new battery. It's 12:30pm Still Oly: Now for Target for a new DVD player, yay, quick stop. Dad heads over to Best Buy to buy Gina a car charger for her cell so we can always get a hold of someone on the road if necessary. I put in the new DVD player. It's much nicer than the old one. 1:15 pm Still Oly: Now kids are hungry, we go back inside to get snacks, my dad buys Zeke 3 new movies. Go Dad, Yay Zeke! Now for a stop at the bank and we are outa here! 1:40 pm ON the road again..... It's now around 2:20 pm. We are Finally headed to Moses Lake. Wait, let's stop for lunch. Taco Time here we come! Still in Oly- It's 3:00pm 8:30 pm we've made it to Moses Lake, we find the campground. Get out site. Very nice campground hosts. Try to set up tent. Gina's never set up a tent. Do it by myself. Get frustrated. We head to dinner because we have no firepit. 11:30pm. QUICK! Get the rain fly! The sprinkler's have turned on! Gina's been showered. Emma is still awake. 1:00am: Emma finally falls asleep. Never again will she get an ice cream cone all to herself. Next Day: Headed off to the water park. Emma loves it! Zeke not so sure at first. Zeke and I ride the lazy river together in a tube. That evening: Gina's off at showers for what feels like forever. Left at 7:00. It's now 8:30. Kids are bathed and in bed. Emma still not asleep. Zeke get's back up. Go in to check on Emma, she's poopy, all over the tent, bedding, etc. No diapers, no wipes, they are in the car at the showers with Gina. Wait some more for Gina. Finally comes back 15 minutes later. It's a dollar for 5 minutes on the shower. Not sure what went on for almost two hours. Get emma cleaned up. Sit with her for 15 minutes more. Still won't sleep 9:30. I am back from showers, Emma is still awake. 10:00 pm. Emma falls asleep. We walk over to "group firepit" i.e. big hole in the ground between twelve tent sites. Roast a couple smores, head to bed. Heading out of town: stop for more ice, stop for icecream, get rear ended in McDonald's drive thru. Lady doesn't even get out of her car, just hollars out, "Do I have any damage?" Then rolls her window back up . Thankfully, slow speed, short distance, no damage. Driving to Boise: We stop to take a photo of the 7 inn. Long story. Gina get's stabbed through her shoe, into her food on side of road, by a TWIG!!!! Craziness. Boise: Arrive at what was advertised as a campground/RV park. Camping area is a 50x10 area over a mosquito infested drainage ditch with a foot bridge, backed by a chain link fence to some random baseball field. No vision to the rest of RV park. Perfect place to be stapped and robbed. Take a drive through rest of RV park. Mostly full of long term trailer people. Lots of outdoor plants on patios, final straw, 80 year old woman, bright turquoise tube top, ciggarette. We are not staying here. Get our money back, head into Boise looking for a cheap motel Driving around, find cheap motel, looks cheap, but probably okay. Maybe okay. Behind a small used car lot. But wait, why is there a BMW parked outside one of the rooms? Leaning towards drugs or hooker activity. We're outa here. Still driving around Boise. Lost, been all over the place trying to find a slightly more decent motel. The girl from the motel doesn't know what street her motel is on, or how to get there. Really? Stop at Sonic drive in for over priced dinner. Stop at Gas station to find out how to get back to I-84. Gina's brother calls. Comps a room over at the Hilton for us. Wonderful. We're exhausted. Get to hotel. Gina's brother gives excellent directions, from californina, over the phone for the hotel in Boise. People in Boise are stupid. Too tired to enjoy awesomeness of hotel. Too tired to use super nice weight room or pool. Eat a snack, go to bed. Emma takes forever to get to sleep, again. Next morning. Breakfast, Super yummy! Zeke asks a girl on a date. "Mommy, that girl is pretty." Yes she is Zeke." "Mommy, do you think she'll go to the zoo with me?" "I don't know, you can go ask her." "okay!" Zeke with little girl: "Hi! Do you know how to get to the zoo?" "no I don't" "well, do you want to go to the zoo with me?" "I don't know..." I was pretty proud of my little man. Boise to Missoula: This drive takes FOREVER! Stop a few times for gas and some food. Still haven't really gotten into the food bought for the trip. Stop at a Mtn. pass for photos. Someone pulls over, "Do you guys need help?" "no, we're just here taking pictures." "Oh, did you know your car is smoking?" "no, I was reading a book, Gina was driving." Check out car: It's smoking, Not the engine, the brakes. The new brakes I got the day before the trip! We've been heading down a ways, Gina's been riding the brakes. They got hot. We use friendly samaratin's cell to call Gina's sister in law Kerry. Leave message, "Kerry, our cell doesn't work, brakes smoking, If we're not in Missouly by 11:00. call Chad." Drive forever trying to find shady place to park and have dinner so can can cool down. can't find one. Finally 8:00pm, last town for 80 miles. Kids are hungry. still no shade, still 98 degrees outside. We stop at a Diner. pretty fairly priced, Still I order a side salad and slice of bread for 3.00, get the kids a grilled cheese to share for 4.00. Order a milkshake for 3.00. It's okay, mostly icecream. Get on road again. Get to Missoula about 11:45. Cell phone doesn't work in Montana. Only give the option for collect calls. We try a couple of times. Think Chad has been called, probably on his way to rescue us. A little worried. Gina doesn't remember where Kerry lives. Wants to try to drive around a bit. I'm tired and cranky. I whip into a gas station and hand her some change. Call Kerry. They visit. "Gina, it's midnight, just get the directions, we can visit when we get there!" Probably not the nicest person on the planet right now. Get to Kerry's put kids to bed. I think Kerry didn't know kids were coming. Next day in Missoula: No way to call Chad. Kerry didn't get our message thank goodness! I am out of money. Gina hasn't gotten money borrowed from her brother yet. Kids are up first thing in AM, megan not here yet. Zeke gets in trouble for being to loud, wasn't really being that loud. I load up kids and tell Gina I'll be back around 11:00 so Kerry can sleep in. Drive to store, buy ice and moistureizer. My face feels like sand paper. Find a pay phone, use my credit card to call Chad. Get 8 minutes to cry on phone before we are disconnected. Try to call back, can't get through. Rest of Missola goes okay. celebrate 4th of July at a BBQ. Both kids love fireworks! Kids fall asleep without any problems. Sleep in until 11:00am on sunday! Puts us in a rush to get stuff done and head out of town. Want to go see Brewery and Kerry's horse then stop at Ross. Re-pack up van, Discover one of our logs contains and ant hill. Go see Kerry's horse. He's sweet. try to ride bare back. Scarier than I thought it would be. Zeke won't touch horse. Emma get's on, loves it. Throws a fit when we take her off. Heading to walmart for more ice. Back into someone. Emma thinks it's funny. Kid's don't notice. No way to call Chad. Worried he'll be angry, even though I know he won't be. Red paint on and a hole in my bumper. Other guy is fine. Stop at Ross. Spend too much time there. Get a new bag and ring. Gina has her money now. I get paid back. Arriving in Whitefish early evening. Nice to be there. I like the camp ground. We actually have a campfire pit with a grill. Kids don't fight bed too much. Fire kind of sucks. We're tired so we go to bed. Get up next day, shower, It's raining! Move the stuff to the car. Eat cold breakfast in tent. Load up kids, go explore whitefish. Drive up Big mtn. Drive down Big mtn. Brakes smoke again. Definately from riding them. It's raining, thunder, lightening. Pulled over. No one stops to help. Drive to Les schwab. Leave car for an hour go to MCD for lunch. Buy more food. Still haven't used much of our camp food. call Les Schwab from MCD, car is, well, they need to talk to me about it. I pray they don't try to rip me off. Walk back to Les Schwab. They have a sheet with a quote for new brakes. I start to worry. It's about 400.00. Wondering if my new brake job was bad. Guy comes out, asks if by chance I was riding my brakes. Yes, told you that when I came in. Just drove through 3 mtn. passes. I'm told, new brakes can get hot, smoke, etc. It could catch car on fire. 1,000 mile brake in policy for new brakes, try not to ride them. try to downshift. My car only has 3rd and low, no 2nd. 3rd doesn't do much, low is too much. Rad. No charge. Brakes are fine. that's a little better. Go to pay phone to call Chad, get a hold of him. Says his phone is about to die, he's been napping in the tent next to mine. wait, what? I hang up on him. "Gina, get in the car!" We drive to camp ground. Chad is there! the day is better. We go to Mackenzie River Pizza Co. for dinner. Best pizza ever. Have a decent fire, roast marshmallows, kids have a hard time getting to sleep. Move Emma to Chad's tent. Things go better. Listen to Zeke get in trouble again. Cry, take a walk to the lake. Pray some more. Go to Glacier next day, take pics, fun day. get some t-shirts. Chad pays for some gas and stuff. Very nice of him. I fall on some rocks right by the raging ice cold river. I can't swim. Didn't fall in though, hallelujah! About time I got hurt. Nothing has happened yet today. Last day in Whitefish. head up big Mtn. ride to the top. Chad pays for lift tickets. spoils me. Buys us both venti starbucks coffee and buys me lunch. yumm! Emma loves gondola up mtn. So does Zeke, wind is kind of strong, makes both Gina and I nervous. Find a road called JP road. take a picuture. Drive out to the Reimer's. They still live there but they aren't home. Cool. Go back to camp, leave kids with Chad, go shopping. That takes a while too... longer than necessary. Get Gelato, and some christmas gifts taken care of. Get back to camp site. Kids have been a pain for Chad. he heads into town, we put them to bed. All kids asleep within and hour! amazing! We enjoy a nice evening around the fire, drink a little hard liqour, and decide we will head home one day early. Millions of stops on the way home. Kid's can't decide if they need to pee or poop. Finally home. Tired. go to bed. Never doing this again.

Yay.... I'm online

First: some photos...

Okay, well, at least temporarily. Anyway, to catch up a little...

Our anniversary was the weekend of the 14th. We also had a friends wedding that weekend, so we went to Portland for the wedding saturday and stayed overnight at the Marriott. It was WONDERFUL! We left Zeke with my parents, and got to use the pool and hot tub at the hotel. We got to sleep in! Well, sort of, I still had to get up and feed EmmaJane, but I got to relax, I wasn't woken to a bare butt bouncing on my head and the sounds of "I WANT Befast!" of "I NEED Otyeal!" So that was nice. Equally nice were the DIOR sunglasses I received from my wonderful husband and the trip to the hugest fabric store I've ever seen! It's called Fabric Depot. I tried to get a picture, but it doesn't really give you any idea of the massiveness of this store. In any case, I got some really rad green fabric to make some throw pillows with. So.... now for some photos.

This is the hottie I got to spend the weekend with... well, okay, almost every day with... I am so lucky!

Fabric Depot... My wonderful husband spend a little over and HOUR in there with me!

This sign says "Hung Far Low" Chad thought it was funny.